I don't have a problem with minor typos and more obscure grammatical errors, but you should always use capital letters at the beginning of a sentence,...for proper nouns, and the word "I". Try not to use tense shifting, it's one of my pet peeves. Tense shifting is when you start a chapter in one tense and suddenly shift to another at a random point for no reason. As a general rule, this story is in present tense, unless you are using a flashback.Keep in mind that this story should be in second. I called Dana to let her know I was on my way back and she said everything was fine. I stopped off at my place to get some more of my clothes. I had been gradually moving my stuff into her apartment. We were living there, so it didn't make any sense to have two separate places. My lease was up for renewal at the end of January, so the timing was perfect. I had already notified the landlord that I would be leaving.When I walked into our apartment, I stopped immediately when I realized Dana. More

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