I wanted that, Joe. I wanted you to hurt me.”“I know,” he said.“You could have got it all out,” she said.“I don’t hate you, Rachel. I de...initely didn’t want to hurt you.”“Even if I wanted it? Maybe because I wanted it,” she laughed.“Maybe.”She pulled away from him. “Eddie encouraged it. Jesus. How fucked up we are?”“But no other man?” Cheryl asked.“Just once. And something about it...”“Eddie maybe liking the addition too much,” he said.“I don’t know if I got that consciously. But subconsciously. But I didn't feel ordinary. My audience was bothanonymous and connected. I was emerging as a woman and my audience wasthere to guide and share and witness in such an extraordinary way.By day, I'd make my forays in public. This body, my body, feltcomfortable now. It really did. And that's saying a lot. If you were tobecome six inches taller, or shorter, I think you'd find it challenging tomake the physical adjustment - at least at first. You'd discover thatpeople treat you differently in. More

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