He had very firm hands.“Here let me try these socks on you? They are really comfortable?” he said.He removed the shoes I had on and began to slide...one of the socks onto my foot. I felt his hand slide up my leg as he pulled the sock up. He did the same thing to my other foot as his hand slid up my leg to the knee.He grabbed both of my feet and said, ”How do these socks feel? They are very soft.” I said, “Wow! They are very comfortable?”He then squeezed each of my feet as he ran his hands back. I continued the dream with the guard in the fantasy falling in love with me, sneaking me out, and raising a family with me. Then abruptly my journal entry switches to addressing God. I beg his forgiveness for my sinful thoughts.Lord, why do you torture me—I ask in the lord’s prayer ‘and deliver us not into temptation, deliver us from evil’ it says plainly. Why do I enjoy these dreams?In my little red journal I wrote a lot about sex, a lot about God, and very little about my real life. Real. More

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