Vietnam next deterred me. It wasn't till the early 70's when I finally gained employment and my own place, that I started back in crossdressing. I fou...d shoes at thrift shops and garage sales. Lingerie was obtainable via the mail. Life was good, I was thin, let my hair grow, and maintained a low profile amoung friends and realitives. Then I met my 1st wife. she was about my size, height, and most importantly, same shoe size, (or close). I secretly dressed when I could, until one day she came. Would that I could go back in time and not be standing over Jacques, the old comte de la Arbois, my eyes lost in terror to the drip, drip, dripping from the blade of the knife, the horror of wresting the ring from the gnarled claw of an old man who would not yield. Who could have known such a rotted body had the strength in it to deny me to the last? You ask why I will not lift my hand above the table to clasp yours. The truth is more damning than you can imagine—yay, more reason to distrust me. More

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