After six months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. “Horrible,” he says. “They’re always yelling and screaming. I hate...how they constantly pound on the walls and stomp the floors.”“How do you get by?” she asks.“I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes,” says the Scot.A man is on trial for cannibalism. He proclaims to the judge, “Well, your honor, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man.”I rang work and said, “I can’t come in today, I have a wee. I jumped out of the car and ran down the trail. I could hear Dane running to catch me. Before long I reached a thin ‘game trail’ that branched off the one I was on, and glancing back at him, turned down it. Minutes later I stopped by a slow moving creek running through a little glade. Dane slipped his arms around me, trailing his fingers over my ribs. “This place is beautiful.” His words were whispered against the skin of my neck, and made me shiver. I didn’t. More

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