He had in the past worked as a photographer, for friends, family and neighbors, and would still help the occasional relative who was stuck without a p...otographer as their wedding day approached. He also had photographed many of the girlfriends and sex partners he’d had over the years. He watched porn , but he preferred his own private collection of lovely ladies when he needed inspiration. His ex-wife was a notable exception. Despite him telling her how beautiful and sensuous she was and how he. What he might be doing right now and constantly wondering if he is thinking of me at all. If he even cares about me to begin with? Etc, etc, etc. Insert standard sadness shit here, blah... As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and how much wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer than a few hours, without it. More

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