At the end of it all Sammy gives me the guys'number and tells me she'll help me to go shopping for an outfit.A couple of days go by and, horny as hell...and needing a release, I callthe guy (finally find out his name is James) to arrange a date. Sammytakes me shopping and helps me pick out a red lace, fit and flare dress,plus a handbag and a pair of heels to match. The day arrives and I feelsick to my stomach but my submissive nature and the need for that keydrives me to go through with it. I get. You put the mug in front of me. ‘What happened?’ ‘I’m an idiot.’ I don’t know why I do this. I get frustrated and I just want to come to you, get re-centered in my world, and get back on my feet. But I never come right out and say it. I don’t say: ‘I had a stupid, minor, entirely avoidable car accident and that – combined with being a full time single-dad – has got me feeling like I’m running on empty.’ For the life of me, I wish I knew how to say ‘I haven’t felt this down since Marlene died.’. More

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