I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, ‘Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?’ She said, ‘No, I hate myself now...’My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘Because you came home early.’My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.I know. We should exchange insurance cards and addresses." Right. Let me get my insurance card." Then she returned to her car.In the meantime, I did the same and tried to think about why she looked familiar. She was certainly an adorable little thing, so no matter who she was, I wanted to get her into bed if at all possible.As we exchanged insurance cards, I read hers and that's when it hit me! Her insurance card said, Jackie Evancho! She was the little girl with an amazing voice that rose to fame. More

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