”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Le... me out!”The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters, “Too late, mate, the paperwork’s already done.”I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely. ” I take this all in, but I still have a nagging feeling that there’s more. “Has she asked you out again since then?” Slowly, he nods. “In the weeks after we hooked up, she invited me a few more times to come watch her play, but I always said no. Honestly, I was concerned that she may have some feelings for me, so the last time she asked I reminded her, as gently as I could, that I wasn’t looking to date. Once again she said that was fine by her.” He pauses as if remembering something. “I don’t. More

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